A Little Jealousy

Sometimes I get a little sour of fellow diseases and/or chronic illnesses. For example, while watching the TV last week I saw a public service announcement (PSA) for autism. In the PSA, it mentioned that autism was diagnosed more in children than diabetes.

I'm sure the autism folks weren't specifically picking on diabetes as I believe other chronic illnesses were mentioned. However, I still get a little angry when such a comparison is made.

Of course I also feel a slight (note: very slight) contempt at those who celebrate their defeat of cancer. I love those who do indeed fight off cancer. My wife and I have a very dear friend who went through a year of tests, chemo, more tests and more chemo to successfully beat cancer. Believe me, I am very grateful that she won her battle. And while I understand that many die from cancer, it doesn't lessen those of us who fight diabetes every day and cannot break free from it. (By the way, diabetes is the sixth leading cause of death in the United States; fifth if you just look at diseases.)

Now, not to get anyone in a sour mood but, it puts diabetes in perspective compared to other diseases. And, of course, explains why I sometimes get a little miffed when unjust comparisons are made. Okay, I'll get off my horse now. :)

Fight on!

Mark

Today's Thoughts

Okay, so I'm seeing a number of d-posts lately talking about a rather "sensitive" subject: carbohydrates or 'carbs' for short.

This particular food group is either your really good friend or your worst enemy. I try to see carbs in a positive light. Our bodies need them for energy, but if your body resembles - say - a russet potato, then there's a problem. Worse yet, I am one of those idiots that can't say no to a good carb in either solid or liquid form. :)

The trouble is, the older I get with my diabetes (my diabetes is over 33 years old, while I am now over 41...AARP card anyone?), the less my body properly digests carbs. Is it a sign of gastroparesis? I don't know and I will get tested. But until then, the less carbs for me, the better.

And in other news...
Had a bummer OmniPod pod removal the other day. I replaced my expired pod with a new one. When I removed the old one, a nice trickle of blood came screaming down my abdomen. Nice. In a matter of seconds, I had a blood stain on my shorts the size of a plum. This was not at all pleasing to my wife or kids. "Dad, it's like you've been shot!" exclaimed my oldest son. Nothing says "diabetes" like a good blood stain.

Finally, yes I am not writing as frequently as I would like to. Even though school is out for our boys and life is starting to calm down, I am still busy. I do keep up with many of the d-blogs out there. So, even though I'm not posting as much, I'm still in the game.

Laugh, live, and love...

Mark

Ugh! Diabetes Moments

So far, 2010 has been filled with Ugh! moments.
For instance:

1. My OmniPod shutoff without warning only to find out later that it was due to low batteries.
2. I tried unsuccessfully to go back on shots for a day, but after 6 injections to correct highs (!?!), I decided the pump is much, much better.
3. Cortisone steroid shots and diabetes DO NOT play well together. I fought high blood sugars for 4 days - taking over 80 units of insulin per day (when I normally take 35 on average) - and thanking God no one managed to piss me off. My endocrinologist was very sympathetic and steered me in the right direction.
4. Why is it every time I try to eat less, I end up eating more... Less gut, less butt. It's very simple.
5. Number 3 was to repair the trigger ligament in my left thumb. Cortisone shots FAILED. Now having surgery next week. Thankfully, the surgery is very minor.
6. And speaking of OmniPod, Insulet has been promising some combination of pod/CGM for over a year now (may be 2?) without even the slightest hint of what it will look like or functionality. Hey Insulet! Throw us a bone, would ya?
7. Last, but not least... The more I aim for perfection, the less likely I will ever get there.

Love and be loved,

Mark

The Hardest Day of My Life

It's been over 4 hours now since I gave our oldest dog, Chloe, to God. We had her for 15 wonderful years. She was more than just a dog to me; she was my daughter.

To make a long story short, I physically rescued her when she was just 13 weeks old. An irresponsible person left her in a car in over 100 degree heat. I freed her and fought for her in court and from there on my wife and I became her parents.

Chloe loved our two children from the day they were born. She became a herder to them. On many times she prevented them from getting hurt. The boys would often cuddle on her soft fur and she would be patient with them. She loved to lick their faces to make them giggle.

Chloe loved the outdoors. I fondly remember watching the cool spring air run through her long hair. As for a samoyed, she was cunning and very fast. She would often bring me adult blue jays or an occasional chipmunk.

She also made the best guard dog anyone could ever ask for. Her 'wolf-like' features were formidable for visitors at the door. I once told a delivery guy that if she didn't approve of you, she would let me know.

I will miss my smiling girl, but I know without a doubt, that she is in a much better place.

Chloe, enjoy the wind of Heaven and the new love you have found...

Too Late?

I suppose it's too late to wish everyone a Happy New Year... Ugh.

What have I been up to? Well, considering that I've fought off two infections in the last month, caring for sick family members, caring for a family (who are very, very, very good friends) who are going through hell on earth, and trying to keep my diabetes on track is just the start of my life. I sometimes feel that God has made me a member of his personal "Army Rangers", and I'm on-call 24x7. Yes, life has been that challenging.

I am blessed though that I am alive and, as I gaze out our kitchen window to 2 inches of snow, know that I am loved.

To me, that's what life is all about; to love and be loved.