The Hardest Day of My Life

It's been over 4 hours now since I gave our oldest dog, Chloe, to God. We had her for 15 wonderful years. She was more than just a dog to me; she was my daughter.

To make a long story short, I physically rescued her when she was just 13 weeks old. An irresponsible person left her in a car in over 100 degree heat. I freed her and fought for her in court and from there on my wife and I became her parents.

Chloe loved our two children from the day they were born. She became a herder to them. On many times she prevented them from getting hurt. The boys would often cuddle on her soft fur and she would be patient with them. She loved to lick their faces to make them giggle.

Chloe loved the outdoors. I fondly remember watching the cool spring air run through her long hair. As for a samoyed, she was cunning and very fast. She would often bring me adult blue jays or an occasional chipmunk.

She also made the best guard dog anyone could ever ask for. Her 'wolf-like' features were formidable for visitors at the door. I once told a delivery guy that if she didn't approve of you, she would let me know.

I will miss my smiling girl, but I know without a doubt, that she is in a much better place.

Chloe, enjoy the wind of Heaven and the new love you have found...

Too Late?

I suppose it's too late to wish everyone a Happy New Year... Ugh.

What have I been up to? Well, considering that I've fought off two infections in the last month, caring for sick family members, caring for a family (who are very, very, very good friends) who are going through hell on earth, and trying to keep my diabetes on track is just the start of my life. I sometimes feel that God has made me a member of his personal "Army Rangers", and I'm on-call 24x7. Yes, life has been that challenging.

I am blessed though that I am alive and, as I gaze out our kitchen window to 2 inches of snow, know that I am loved.

To me, that's what life is all about; to love and be loved.

Health Update

Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement during this trying time. Here is the latest...

I have forced myself to cut wayyyyy down on caffeine. For as long as I can remember, caffeine has been a very close friend of mine, e.g. everywhere I went, I made sure there was a caffeinated soda or coffee in my hand. Now, Sprite Zero, decaffeinated coffee, and water are the norm. (I'm actually drinking decaf coffee right now. Oh the humanity!) It's been tough, but when your health is on the line, you learn to adjust.

In addition to caffeine, I'm eating less milk chocolate. I know, I know... "diabetics shouldn't eat chocolate any way...", well that thinking is sooo 1950's. Now let's move along.

I am drinking more water than ever! Sometimes I think there's got to be something better, but it's really good for me and my IBS. In addition, I'm eating smaller meals and try (emphasize, 'try') to stay away from high fat, greasy meals. Occasionally, the bloating and other yucky stuff that comes with IBS happens. BUT, I just deal with it.

The worse part of this whole ordeal is the not knowing. I'm still discovering what foods are good and what are bad. For instance, I used to love eating snack crackers. After having some, they cause me severe intestinal cramps. This is just an example. Again, I may not understand all that is happening, but I need to deal with it.

I welcome any advice from those of you who suffer from IBS and diabetes.

A Medical Hurricane

I haven't posted in a while, because I simply needed a break. However, I have a confession to make: I have Irritable Bowel Syndrome or IBS. It's painful and uncomfortable and the list goes on. I've been fighting it for a awhile, but really didn't want to tell anyone. My IBS is brought on by stress. A combination of work and family stress, along with an irregular diet and lack of regular exercise, caused the equivalent of an internal hurricane.

And this hurricane put me down for several days last week.

Sadly, I couldn't stop this hurricane; I could only alleviate it. I ate little and drank lots of fluids. Even as I write, the last of the hurricane is rumbling through. In addition, you probably are wondering about my diabetes. How did I manage through this storm?

I was constantly testing my blood sugar and adjusting as necessary. Yes, I had many highs and many lows which just added to the storm. Yet, it could have been much worse. Personally, I'm angry with myself that I didn't deal with these issues sooner. I know better, but failed to take action. I hoped that this storm would just dissipate. Clearly, I was wrong.

I know there will be a next time. I know life is going to keep throwing me curve balls. I'm aware of the signs... BUT, I can't promise that I'll handle it any better. All I can do is try to keep my stress down and learn to let some things go.

A Time of Change

I love the fall season. I love the temperature change to the 60's. I love the sight of brilliant colors. Fall reminds me of change.

In the last 2-3 weeks, I have changed job positions, my diet, and different life routines. For example, my job has become very, very active again. I've gone from a sedentary job - lots of sitting with little to do - to actively solving issues. My blood sugar levels have been very happy with me.

Our family is slowly making a change to an 'organic' diet. We are trying not to purchase foods that have been grown or processed with steroids or chemicals. We made this decision based on how we feel after eating healthier choices. Life is too short and therefore, we must do what is right for us and our children. It's been tough, but so far, so good. (And, no, I'm not giving up a good beer!)

And what does a different life routine mean? Well, I've made the conscious decision to spend less time on the computer (and iPhone), including Twitter and Facebook, and spending more time being active. As a family, we are exercising and spending more time outside.

I am at a point in my life where the more simple I keep things, the better. I'm tired of stressing over, "the little things". I'm not perfect and refuse to live perfectly. But, I do want to enjoy life to the fullest and these changes are helping me do just that.

Enjoy your fall! :)